Monday, July 14, 2014

Why I do what I do

Have you ever been asked that? "Why do you do what you do?"  I recently came across the question, "why do you write?" I felt the question reach right inside of me. Why do I write, why do I blog? The answer flew off my finger tips without any hesitation. 

I write because I have something inside that builds up pressure until it busts out. I write because I know what it feels like not to have hope; no matter how differently we all believe- I want to connect, validate and encourage people. I write because I have been swallowed by pain, confusion, and fear, and I don't want anyone in that place to stand alone. I write because I don't have a magic wand to make anyone feel better, I just have my story.
I write because for so long I was told it was just me, my fault, if only I could be better, or change, or different, then someone would love me. Those "if only's..." ruled me, and I tried so hard to live by them. I know the failure of failed relationships no matter how hard I tried to be different.

I write to remind everyone who reads my words..... You aren't what someone has ever said about you that's negative. You aren't going around and around the mountain with no hope of change. You are worth love.

So I'll keep writing, even if after a while my words sound like a broken record. I can't say it enough. You are amazing, you are needed, you are meant to be alive at this moment, time, and place. 

(((((((((((((((((big hug to those who need it))))))))))))))))))
Hope you have a great day!

Thursday, July 10, 2014


Hi everyone! Are you enjoying the summer? I'm loving it so far.... as long as I have a fan nearby. haha. For the first time ever I have blueberries on the bush outside. The bad news is that the birds have discovered it too. There was the fattest robin I'd ever seen picking berries off!

Did you all have a good fourth of July? My husband, kids, and I went to a local park and watched the neighborhoods all around us shoot them off. I have a love/hate thing about fireworks. They are beautiful, but I've spent many years stressing and worrying about my kids getting hurt. I've had to deal with burns,  and things landing in their eyes. That's where the hate part comes in. And every year the kids want it bigger and better.

Plus, the penny pincher in me thinks, wow, you could buy a car with the money all these fireworks cost.

I think that makes me a scrooge. But I really do think they are beautiful.

It also makes me thankful that I can enjoy the holiday with my kids. In all the hustle and bustle and pressure of "make sure you get it right," it's easy to overlook the victories. My victory is my relationship with my kids. It might look messy at times, but my kids know I love and value them. I feel so thankful for that.

So today, I want to challenge you to find your victories. You have them. They might  not look like anyone elses. But take a second and acknowledge them. Life is so quick to throw at us where we fail, and where we can do better. It will hardly ever throw at you what you've done right. You have to do that for yourself.

"Love others as you love yourself."

The "Love other's" part is the part that tells us where we can do better, do more, didn't get it right.

The "love ourself" part is the part I forget about. I forget to be kind to myself, and how I think about myself.  But, I noticed the kinder I am to myself, it overflows in to my daily attitude about life in general.

Thanks for reading my daily ramblings. It helps me to write it out. I'm going to spend the day looking at my victories, big or small.  Have a good day!