Friday, December 26, 2014

Your Worth the Time to Smell the Roses

Merry Day After Christmas! :) Does your house look like mine? Torn bits of garbage left over from the paper blizzard/food fest.  I didn't jump right into cleaning it this morning. Instead, I sat in my comfy chair and listened to the radio. It's really come to my attention how busy I am.... not busy in a good way, but busy in the way that I'm always thinking, doing, trying to figure out things. My mind is never still. Even when I pray my mind is thinking about this or that.

Yesterday when I tried this, a Christmas carol came on the radio, one of those old fashioned ones. It reminded me of being a little girl listening to an old song as a child and being enchanted.  It was easy for me to 'stop and smell the roses' back then. Even during the hard times.

I let the old deep baritones wash over me, and relaxed deeper into the chair.  I felt like God was with me, and this was a different type of prayer. Just spending time with him, enjoying the gifts he's given.

Today was still as struggle to sit and be quiet. I had to make myself sit in the chair, and tell myself over and over to JUST STOP.

And I started to hear the words of the song. It's weird, I've heard the words a million times, but never actually listened to them, if that makes sense.  The song is by Brandon Heath, and I'll post the lyrics below if you want to read them.

They spoke to me. In the midst of the busyness of my mind is still the undercurrent of "Do better, be better. What am I missing?"

Here's the lyrics:
I felt it first when I was younger

A strange connection to the light

I tried to satisfy the hunger

I never got it right

I never got it right

So I climbed a mountain and built an altar

Looked out as far as I could see

And everyday I'm getting older

I'm running outta dreams

I'm running outta dreams

But your love

Your love

The only the thing that matters is your love

Your love is all I have to give

Your love is enough to light up the darkness

It's your love

Your love

All I ever needed is your love

You know the effort I have given

And you know exactly what it cost

And though my innocence was taken

Not everything is lost

Not everything is lost no

You're the hope in the morning

You're the light when the night is falling

You're the song when my heart is singing

It's your love

You're the eyes to the blind man

You're the feet to the lame man walking

You're the sound of the people singing

It's your love.

Friday, December 12, 2014

Some thoughts about Christmas

Wow, isn't it incredible? I mean something to God. He knows who I am, this tiny speck of a person, who lives on a tiny blue speck spinning in blackness. He knows my thoughts and fears, talents, hopes and dreams, and he cares.

I talk to him a lot at  night. It's in the darkness that I feel the smallest and my anxieties and questions the loudest. What I love about him is that I can come with every question and thought and he accepts me.  That's a big thing to realize, I don't have to be fake for him to love me.

Somehow, in the midst of every fear I've struggled with, he has brought peace.

When I look up at the stars the vastness of the universe overwhelms me; seriously. My husband can look at them for hours and feel inspired. They make me feel small.  But it was with a star that God highlighted the message brought by the angel,"Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people; for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.…"

Don't you love how God always reminds us of that? "Don't be afraid. I've come to take away your fears, and replace them with my perfect love." He knows us, gets that we worry and have fears. He knows that fear robs our peace, and wants to remind us He cares about us.

Today I read a beautiful thought;

Know that you were formed by God's hands, dreamed in his heart and place in this world for a purpose.

Hope you all have a good weekend as we move closer to celebrating the day that he came to take away our fear, and show us his love.

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Old/New Post

Can I cheat a little bit? I wrote a post at the beginning of the year that's close to my heart, and I wanted to share it again. Especially with the end of the year approaching, and New Year's resolutions staring us in the face.

Sometimes, do you ever feel like you are circling around and around the same mountain? Like you think you were making progress, only to be dragged back into it again? “hey, been here done that…”

One thing I’ve discovered is that nearly everyone goes through this. You most certainly aren’t alone.  

I have felt that way more times then I can tell you.  I will battle something down, and revel in that small thrill of victory… and then bam! It comes flying back into my lap for me to deal with again. I felt like a failure, and wonder why can’t I get passed this (over-come it, deal with it whatever the situation is.)

Certain “mountains” seem more condemning than others if I feel like I don’t have success with it. It used to bother me before that I was still dealing with issues from my childhood memories.  I grew up with being told that what’s happened is done, pick yourself up and brush yourself off. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps.  You can’t blame everything on your parents.

All those things are true, and yet they aren’t absolute.  I can’t blame everything on my parents. I have my own free will now. I don’t want to live a life as a victim.

I also am not a book; turn the page and the story moves on.  Sometimes what feels like going around the mountain is really just dealing with the same situation at a different level.

That sounds so simple, doesn’t it? But it’s easier to say “What’s wrong with me that I can’t get passed this?” then to take a minute and say, “Wow, I am recognizing things a little differently here.  I have made steps, even if they seem small compared to the emotions I’m facing right now.”

Whenever I face my mountain again, it’s my time to trot out what I have learned. It’s my time to speak the truth to the mountain, despite what my emotions are feeling. The things I speak are-

1)    God got me this far, he’s going to get me the rest of the way.

2)    Despite how I feel, I am deeply loved, even if the only one I can count is God- He’s not angry with me. He will never leave me.

3)    I have not failed, I am still learning.

4)    This moment will pass.

5)There will be beauty from ashes from this situation.

 Maybe you are facing a mountain today, or feel like you’ve gone around it before.  Hang in there.  You are making progress, even if you don’t see it. It will get better. I am a firm believer that we get to encourage others from the strength and encouragement we gain as we face our mountains.  Even if you feel weak now, one day you will be encouraging someone else!


Hi Everyone! Just a quick note today to say that Lost No More, the sequel to Ghost No More (my own personal story), is on sale for .99 on Amazon for the next few days! Thank you so much for your support. I respond to every note and email and I appreciate them so much. You all encourage me as much as I'd hope to encourage you! :)

Have a great day. Weekend is almost here!
Here's some links if you want to check them out. Thank you again!