Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Spring has sprung.  It always starts inside the house, I don't know why. Suddenly, my house feels stuffy, looks crowded, and the windows all jump out at me to be cleaned. I see junk everywhere, and have this overwhelming urge to throw it all out.  Clutter seems like it multiplied overnight, and mocks me from shelves, cupboards, dressers and closets. Ahhhhh!

Time to clear things out and take multiple visits to Good Will to drop things off. Why do we have an old lollypop ring under the couch? Who stuffed all these papers on this shelf? How did every single pen in the junk drawer run out of ink?

The clothing in the closets seemed to have conspired to shrink on the same day. A million socks ran away, leaving their poor twin to roam either in the laundry room or on the floor of the kids rooms. The space under the beds has become a breeding ground of chaos. I don't even dare to look under the kids beds without being armed with at least a broom handle.

I must visit Costco and buy paper towels, windex, and dusters. I should add carpet cleaning solution to the list, mopping solution, and industrial strength garbage bags.


I need a cup of coffee to contemplate the task of spring cleaning. Maybe a cookie.

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Here's another "going around the mountain" thread from me. Around and around I go, trying to learn the same lesson over and over. The lesson this time-respond instead of react.

I can't seem to get this down.  I'm trying to count to 10 in my head before I say anything. When I do that, it goes much better, and I don't say anything I have to apologize for later.

Uggggh trying....

For those of you who can hold in what you think- bravo. I am impressed.

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Hi everybody! I'm sorry it's been a while since I posted. Real life happening, trying to get my book in gear, and not knowing what to say has kept me from here.

Life sometimes can get so busy you don't even realize how much time has past. This blog kind of freaks me out, because it will tell me how long since I last posted. Then it feels like something I am failing at, rather than a place to vent or share.

It's weird how easy it is to feel like I've failed at something. I wonder if everyone is like that? It's like I hold impossibly high standards for myself that I don't hold others too, and yet they don't feel impossibly high, but as though I should be able to achieve them.

I'm not sure if this comes from feeling like I was unable to please my parents, no matter how hard I tried.  In the end, I want truth to come in to that place.

Feeling like I am failing is living under condemnation, no matter how subtle the feeling is. It's not a place I want to be. If I am honest with myself, I can see that when I am in the place of impossible standards I do expect more out of the people around me. It's harder to give grace and acceptance.

I swear, so much of my life's lessons is about love. In this moment I see, "love others as you love yourself."

One way I can see to love myself right now, is to stop the negative self-talk. Quit talking worse about myself then other people do.

I'm going to have to think about this for a while. Life is about learning, right? Have a good week everyone!

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Spring can't come fast enough! Do you have any bulbs blooming where you're at? I bought some from Costco, but they aren't doing too well. I have a purple thumb (or whatever the opposite of green is lol)

Right now I am reading two books on my kindle- the Postman (David Brin), and Neverwhere (by Neil Gaiman.) Anyone read those? What do you read your books on? Nook? Kindle? Tablet? Or regular paperback?

I never thought I'd get use to it, but now I love my kindle. It makes it very easy to switch between books, and I like the option of buying one whenever I want to.

So, for all of you buried still in snow, I'm sorry. For those of you having warm sunny days.... ugggh (enjoy them for me!) I'm still waiting for my crocus to bloom.  :)

Have a good day!

Sunday, March 2, 2014

Good morning! Wow I am sooo ready for winter to be over. Come on Spring!! Costco had a vase of tulip bulbs, and I splurged and bought it for my kitchen table.  They are pink and white, so lovely!

In the meantime my car windows are frozen over and need to be scraped. UGH Still, it's not as bad here as it in the other states. This has been the winter of SNOW!

In other news, I mentioned a scripture a few weeks back that really encouraged me. For a long time I didn't feel like I "fit in" with everyone else. I felt like I was less than everyone, or had trouble connecting with people. In my mind everyone else had it together more than I did. So I searched up the scripture, and here it is;

1 Corinthians 1:27
But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him.

Even if I didn't feel worth it God chose me. He values us even when we don't see our value. There is someone out there who loves us even when we feel unlovable, or  feel like we don't fit in.

He gets us.

He understands what makes us tick.

And he made a choice. ~Us~

Hope you have a good week. *Big hug to those who need it!*