Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Survivor- One step at a time

I don't know how many of you watch, or follow Honey Boo-Boo. This TV show has been in the news recently because of the topic of sexual abuse.

It's stirred things up in me. I wanted to address this personal topic, even though it's scary for me to share.

Having survived and healed from sexual abuse myself, it breaks my heart whenever I hear about anyone else going through it.  For me, it was one of the darkest, most confusing roads I've been on emotionally. I felt like it was my fault. I had no one to turn to. I felt broken, like something was wrong with me.

I think one of the worse parts of this type of abuse is when no one steps in to protect the victim. This seems like it happens in many ways. In my case, my mom told me it didn't happen, it was my fault, and then went out of her way to leave me alone with him from that point on.

In my friend's case, she was told to forgive and forget.

In another friend's case, she kept silent because she feared it would destroy her family.

I kept it silent too, from the rest of the family except for my parents. I thought I was protecting the family. That is a hard secret to keep.

I don't know if this will help anyone, but there is a Christian support group that deals with sexual abuse. There aren't any cliché pat answers given at this site. It's real people dealing with real thoughts and triggers.

Even if you've heard it a thousand times, let me tell you again....
It wasn't your fault. You are beautiful, inside and out.
I'm so sorry this happened to you.
I know this is hard.
You are strong. You Will Get through this.
You aren't alone. I don't have all the answers, and words seem puny in the face of this pain, but I care.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((big hug)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Thursday, October 2, 2014

A letter~

I just wrote my kids a letter, and want to share it with you. If you've never had a parent say this to you, I'm saying it to you! :) Have a good day!~

A reminder to my kids: You four are such a blessing to me. I remember your first smiles, your first steps, and how, even as youngsters, you seemed to walk through life slowly to appreciate the wonder.

One thing became pretty clear early on; you’re your own person. With your own strengths, dreams, hopes, and struggles.

I want to remind you that you are “fearfully and wonderfully,” uniquely made. Sometimes we spend too much time trying to fix ourselves and “do it the right wa...y.” Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you’ll feel like you can never get it right. Take a deep breath. It’s okay to not have it all figured out and just take life one step at a time. It’s okay to look messy at times.

Condemnation will always look for an opportunity to tell you that you’ve failed. But I want to tell you that you’re qualified for this journey, and remind you that the things you see as weaknesses in yourself are some of your greatest attributes. Sometimes we might need a little balance in those areas. That’s not failure, that’s being human. I’m pretty wobbly myself at times, and am convinced it takes a lifetime to learn that balancing act.

Remember, it’s not other people’s opinions that qualify you. The one who calls you HIS does.
One thing I’m learning is that the more we realize how much God loves us, the more it will push back the fear that wants to knock us down.

God has given us this incredible gift and adventure in life to experience and share joy, hope and growth. I’m so glad we get to share it together. You might not see the impact you have today, but it’s there, just by being YOU. The things that you do that add to this world come natural to you- it’s just the way you are made.
I’m so glad you are here. I love you!
Love, your mother who is still learning