Sunday, March 16, 2014

Hi everybody! I'm sorry it's been a while since I posted. Real life happening, trying to get my book in gear, and not knowing what to say has kept me from here.

Life sometimes can get so busy you don't even realize how much time has past. This blog kind of freaks me out, because it will tell me how long since I last posted. Then it feels like something I am failing at, rather than a place to vent or share.

It's weird how easy it is to feel like I've failed at something. I wonder if everyone is like that? It's like I hold impossibly high standards for myself that I don't hold others too, and yet they don't feel impossibly high, but as though I should be able to achieve them.

I'm not sure if this comes from feeling like I was unable to please my parents, no matter how hard I tried.  In the end, I want truth to come in to that place.

Feeling like I am failing is living under condemnation, no matter how subtle the feeling is. It's not a place I want to be. If I am honest with myself, I can see that when I am in the place of impossible standards I do expect more out of the people around me. It's harder to give grace and acceptance.

I swear, so much of my life's lessons is about love. In this moment I see, "love others as you love yourself."

One way I can see to love myself right now, is to stop the negative self-talk. Quit talking worse about myself then other people do.

I'm going to have to think about this for a while. Life is about learning, right? Have a good week everyone!