"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

This quote that Jesus said was what drew me the most.  There is a lot of politics with Christianity- a lot of rules that people say we have to follow.  As a girl, I was trained to follow rules, so that was nothing new. But these words were new.  I knew I was burdened, I knew I was weary, and I also knew I didn't know how to make it better.

I needed rest.

Sometimes people say, "Go to God just as you are." But they make it sound like, prepare for the work.

What I have found is that I didn't know what love was. I only experienced parental love, so it was natural to put my experiences on another parental figure. They weren't good expectations.

He didn't say anything in that sentence about change. What he says there is that he understands the heart of us. He knows what makes us act and react the way we are. He looks at us and he sees a million hurts, a million misunderstandings we've endured. He sees how we've tried to be a good person, how we were rejected, or where we felt we succeeded. He sees the areas we feel like failures.

He knows we are tired.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

I couldn't offer anything. I was too tired to think about trying to be good, and the failing again. But somehow coming to him was enough.  I came with doubts, anger, frustration, broken heart, disillusionment, fear..... my burdens.

It was okay. He wasn't ever mad at me. And, in time I saw that he didn't love me despite my failings. He loves me because I'm me.

(((((((((((((((big hugs to those who need it )))))))))))))))))))))))