I hope anyone reading this blog will feel supported that what happened to them was real, and there is freedom from the pain, frustration, and anger of their parent’s actions. It’s hard to give forgiveness and get that freedom when they are still doing things that open the old wounds. This happened to me a lot, especially after I had kids.
If you have children yourself, you may have had the same difficulty as I did with your kids around your parents. I didn’t want to jade my kids against my parents, so I was careful what I said to them. Every time my parents came around my kids there was always some weirdness. The types of things that happened were things like; my parents tried to undermine or pit the kids against me, my parents worked to win the kids over with weird manipulation, my parents insulted the kids or me if we didn’t please them.
Their relationship with my kids was based on appearances, and when my parents cut me off they decided to cut the relationship with their grandkids off too.
I tried to make excuses for my parents, but as my kids grew older, they were able to see things for themselves. That’s the thing with unhealthy behavior, people closest to it will see it. I say that for anyone who has younger kids and is still trying to navigate the waters of relationship with their parents without boundaries.
All I can say is take a deep breath. You will get through this.