Sometimes,
do you ever feel like you are circling around and around the same mountain?
Like you think you were making progress, only to be dragged back into it again?
“hey, been here done that…”
One thing I’ve
discovered is that nearly everyone goes through this. You most certainly aren’t
alone.
I have felt
that way more times then I can tell you.
I will battle something down, and revel in that small thrill of victory…
and then bam! It comes flying back into my lap for me to deal with again. I
felt like a failure, and wonder why can’t I get passed this (over-come it, deal
with it whatever the situation is.)
Certain “mountains”
seem more condemning than others if I feel like I don’t have success with it.
It used to bother me before that I was still dealing with issues from my
childhood memories. I grew up with being
told that what’s happened is done, pick yourself up and brush yourself off.
Pull yourself up by your bootstraps. You
can’t blame everything on your parents.
All those
things are true, and yet they aren’t absolute.
I can’t blame everything on my parents. I have my own free will now. I don’t
want to live a life as a victim.
I also am
not a book; turn the page and the story moves on. Sometimes what feels like going around the
mountain is really just dealing with the same situation at a different level.
That sounds
so simple, doesn’t it? But it’s easier to say “What’s wrong with me that I can’t
get passed this?” then to take a minute and say, “Wow, I am recognizing things
a little differently here. I have made
steps, even if they seem small compared to the emotions I’m facing right now.”
Whenever I
face my mountain again, it’s my time to trot out what I have learned. It’s my
time to speak the truth to the mountain, despite what my emotions are feeling.
The things I speak are-
1) God got me this far, he’s going to
get me the rest of the way.
2) Despite how I feel, I am deeply loved,
even if the only one I can count is God- He’s not angry with me. He will never
leave me.
3) I have not failed, I am still
learning.
4) This moment will pass.
5)There will be beauty from ashes from this situation.
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