Every day feels like normal. Life goes on in crazy swirls and dives and sometimes sputters at a stand-still. I don’t think about my childhood for days on end. Then, there are times when something unexpectedly triggers a memory or emotion. It felt like I was standing alone holding the entire weight of the pain, and I didn’t know how to let go of it. Life goes on….
Counseling helps, but somehow child pain went on beyond counseling for me. The pain, fear, self-doubt, and rejection had the ability to tinge everyday situations. That was the worst part for me. Trying to talk myself down from fear, or feeling the stab of rejection and not lashing back from pain.
Growing healthy reminds me of eating a healthy diet; the choice is for life and not a quick fix. I’m still learning to recognize old thoughts for what they are, and remind myself they aren’t true for me today. I pray a lot to grow in love, and to love more.
Life is good, still pulling the beauty from those ashes!